Why Character Studies Are Important for Your Family

Bible character training“I don’t see the need to ‘teach’ character to my children. They will naturally learn good character through my example and through everyday situations as they happen.”

I’ve heard the comment numerous times from well-meaning parents. The problem is, such an approach is naïve. Furthermore, it does not follow the model God gave us in the Bible.

Modeling good character for our children is an important part of the picture, of course. If we tell them how they ought to behave, but then do not follow through by living out the example of what we preach, our children will see through our hypocrisy. They are more likely to do as Mom and Dad do, than live only by what we say.

But, good character doesn’t automatically rub off on our children as we set the example for them. It needs to be presented systematically, “precept upon precept … line upon line” (Isaiah 28:10, 13). Teaching the concepts of Christ-like character within an organized framework, in companionship with modeling it by example, will bring about the best results in shaping our children in the image of  Jesus.

The Old Testament speaks of making a concentrated effort to bring up our children in the ways of the Lord. No doubt you are familiar with Proverbs 22:6‘s exhortation, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Consider also Deuteronomy 6:5-9:

And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words, which I command you this day, shall be in your heart, and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. And you shall bind them for a sign upon your hand, and they shall be like frontlets between your eyes. And you shall write them upon the posts of your house and on your gates.

Notice that we are to teach the Lord’s commands diligently to our children, to talk of them when sitting and walking together, before bedtime, and in the morning when we arise. The Israelites were to bind them upon their hands (figuratively speaking of their actions) and on their foreheads (speaking of the mind), and to write them upon their gates and homes. That sounds like a pretty intense plan for training up children in the way they should go, doesn’t it? Nothing haphazard there!

What about in the New Testament? Well, Jesus was the perfect example of godly character to His disciples. They lived with Him day and night, continually seeing Him portray how to live a life of love toward God and  their fellow man. Yet, Jesus did not merely teach them by His example. In the gospels, we see that He spent many hours instructing His disciples in the specifics of how to think, speak, and live. Apparently, He knew they would not “catch” good character only by watching Him live it. They needed the reinforcement of solid expounding on the Scriptures and how to apply them.

The same is true of the apostle Paul. In 1 Corinthians 11:1, he encouraged the believers, “Be followers of me, even as I also am of Christ” (teaching by example). Yet, as we read through the letters he wrote to the churches, we see much detailed written instruction in how to walk out holy lives.

Well-rounded character education is a bit like biology or chemistry: we present information through textbooks and lectures to put a framework of scientific concepts in place, and then we apply that knowledge in hands-on lab situations. In the same way, we should teach character systematically, through a character curriculum or series of character-oriented Bible studies, and then apply that knowledge in everyday life through example and practice.

Without some kind of consistent plan in place for teaching character, we can easily miss important areas of character development in our children. Because we have blind spots, we don’t always see areas of weakness in our children or ourselves, even though those weaknesses may be glaringly obvious to others. By using character training materials, we make sure we touch the areas we could otherwise so easily miss.

In my next post, I will share some ideas of how to do our best at developing Christ-like character in our children.

 

Character Building for Families,
by Lee Ann Rubsam

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Planning to Home School?

boy readingToday, I’m presenting information for those of you who are planning to teach your children at home for the first time. I hope these articles help you to discover that you can successfully home school.

From our blog:

New to Homeschooling?

Classes and Record-Keeping Demystified

Pros and Cons of Homeschooling

Other places to learn:

A Homeschool Mom — I Can’t Homeschool! Series

Mid-Life Blogger: — 10 Pieces of Advice for New Homeschoolers

The Teaching Home — Home School Basics

While the academics are important, helping our children to develop a personal intimacy with God and to walk out that relationship consistently is far more important. I encourage you to put Jesus first in your home school day.

I really enjoyed this post from the Annie and Everything blog: Our Main Reason for Homeschooling: Character Development.

We have books to help you and your family with Christian character education at our website, Character Building for Families. (They are reasonably priced, too!)

 

homeschool mentoringWould you like to be part of a Facebook Christian homeschool group where many of your questions will be answered?

Older Homeschool Moms Helping Younger Homeschool Moms may be just what you are looking for!

Maybe you have questions about how to handle a parenting issue, how to raise your children to be strong Christians, or some other concern connected with homeschooling. If so, this group might be a good fit for you.

Happy home schooling!

Foundations and Walls

mason laying bricksI often hear God speak to me through dreams. In fact, one of the ways I serve in the body of Christ is by teaching others how to understand what God is saying to them through their dreams.

Recently, I dreamed that I had been reading Tales of the Kingdom, a much-beloved children’s book in our family while our girls were growing up. In the dream, I noticed there were many silver objects and references to silver in the book. Then, an old, silver-haired man approached me. Pointing his finger for emphasis, he explained that the silver symbolism was present because older people are going to have an important role to play in God’s kingdom in the days ahead.

I believe this role will primarily be one of re-laying the foundations of our Christian faith in those around us and rebuilding the walls which have crumbled, much like Nehemiah led the Jewish people to do in Old Testament times. My sense is that this is something the Lord will be emphasizing to His Church a great deal in the near future.

While my dream was specifically about those of us who are in the grandparenting age group, this does not mean younger generations are without responsibility. If you still have children growing up in your home, you can do your part by building solid foundations and kingdom walls in your children. To them, you are the older generation!

What are the foundations I’m speaking of? They are the pure and simple gospel (what 2 Corinthians 11:3 calls “the simplicity which is in Christ”) and the nonnegotiable beliefs of Christianity, which were firmly laid in place by the original New Testament apostles.

The apostle John said of these, “Let that therefore abide in you, which you have heard from the beginning. If what you have heard from the beginning remains in you, you also shall continue in the Son and in the Father” (1 John 2:24).

The apostle Paul likewise exhorted Timothy, “The things which you have heard from me among many witnesses, commit those same things to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also” (2 Timothy 2:2).

The “walls” we are to build are more about discipleship, how to live out godly lives in keeping with Christ — in essence, character education.

Paul gave a few specifics of what that should look like, in Titus 2:1-8:

You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

NIV – Bible Gateway

Homeschooling parents have a powerful opportunity to lay the foundations and build the walls in our children’s lives, so that they will grow up to be mighty men and women of God.

I encourage each of you, you can do this! You may not know everything there is to know about the Bible, but you have the Holy Spirit to teach you, and He can also bring resources to your attention to assist you. My series, A Well-Grounded Faith,  and Character Building for Families can help you get started.

Take the time to pray with your children. Read the Bible with them. Instruct them in the foundations of our faith. It’s even more important than getting all the academic stuff accomplished. Raise up those mighty warriors for the Lord.

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Character Building for Families

 

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The Homeschool Guide to Raising Prayer-Filled Kids,
by Lee Ann Rubsam

Announcing …

Now through May 15

Character Building for Families

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$2.00 off (U. S. only), exclusively at our website.
Regularly $16.00, now $14.00.

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Christian homeschooling parenting tool

Place a group order of 5 or more books for even greater savings! E-mail leeann@fullgospelfamily.com for info on group-order discounts.

Pass the word to friends and homeschool / parenting support groups.

Character Building for Families

 

Six Tools for Tackling Homeschool Turbulence

Guest post by Michelle Curren

 

homeschool learningIf you find yourself feeling stressed and like you’ve made a mistake by choosing to homeschool, please don’t feel alone. Pretty much every homeschooling parent has felt that way at one time or another. It can be caused by lack of confidence, a deluge of information and choices, or burnout. How you handle it makes all the difference.

Here are six tools for tackling homeschool turbulence when those times arise.

1. Get the peace that passes understanding.

Pray and ask God to guide your homeschool. Believing that He’s your guidance counselor and watching for His leading will give you peace. We don’t know what the future holds for our children, but He does, and He can best prepare them for it. Some of my favorite memories are from looking back over our homeschool years and seeing how God provided for our children’s education.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

2. Take a break.

If you’re feeling burned out, the kids are unruly, or just because it’s a beautiful day outside, taking a random day off from your usual schedule gives everyone a chance to relax and enjoy each other’s company. Kids are learning all the time, so whether you spend time at a museum or zoo, or let them pursue their own interests, they’ll still be learning.

3. You can’t do it all.

No one can. Every education will have gaps, but with homeschooling, you get to decide where the gaps are. When I first heard that, it was like a breath of fresh air! As I pondered the statement, I began to think of all the things I didn’t know, and yet I led a happy life. Don’t get too wrapped up in trying to teach your children everything. Teach the things that matter.

4. Don’t be a slave to your curriculum.

Trying to check off every assignment and stay on someone else’s schedule can cause stress. One of the blessings of homeschooling is having the freedom to make decisions regarding workload and schedule. Remember that you’re the one in control, and exercise it occasionally. This can go a long way toward easing overwhelm.

Also, reassess your curriculum. Is it the cause of your stress? It’s possible that it’s not the right fit for your family. If you come to this conclusion, don’t be afraid to make a change. Making yourself stick with a curriculum just because you made an investment in it can be costly in other, more stealthy ways, such as causing you to give up.

5. Support

I can’t stress enough how important this is. Even if you have support from friends and family, no one understands the challenges of homeschooling like other homeschoolers. Seek support from other parents through homeschool groups, whether online or in person. You’re invited to join my Facebook group, Happy at Homeschooling, where I encourage homeschool families.

Don’t be afraid to take time off from schoolwork to attend park days or other unstructured events where both kids and mom can make friends. It really can make the difference between sticking it out or giving up.

6. Benefit from experience.

Looking back over the fourteen years I spent homeschooling, there were things I wish I had known earlier. I put all of that hard-earned wisdom into a nine-step guide to give new homeschoolers a shortcut and set them up for success.

For example, I recommend that you write down your reasons for homeschooling. Reviewing them when you feel discouraged will help you reconnect with your motivation and get you back on track.

That’s one of the steps in my e-book, 9 Easy Steps to Homeschooling. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, my workbook will help you to feel more relaxed and confident.

A Blessing, Not a Burden

I hope that these suggestions will help you overcome turbulent times. Homeschooling, although it takes dedication, is meant to be a blessing, not a burden. If you stick with it, someday you’ll have precious memories, stronger family bonds, and children that are well-prepared for life.

__________________________________________________

Michelle Curren, Mid-Life BloggerMichelle Curren homeschooled for fourteen years, graduating both of her children from their homeschool. She and her husband homestead in the Missouri Ozarks with a menagerie of dogs, cats, and poultry. Writing as Mid-Life Blogger, she endeavors to encourage the next generation of homeschooling families. Visit Michelle at http://midlifeblogger.com.

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homeschool character training

 

Character Building for Families

 

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All-Surpassing Peace in a Shaking World,
by Lee Ann Rubsam

Journaling: How I Conquer Overwhelm

Guest Post by Simona Kragh

 

prayer journalingI am with you always, until the end of time.Matthew 28:20

We all know the Lord’s reassuring words, but do they make a difference for us when the mound of laundry is taller than the washer, the floor is dirty (again), the older kids can’t seem to remember their spelling, the younger ones’ playdate (and her very critical mother) will be over in two hours, the baby is happy only in our arms, poor hubby is working fifty hours a week for the foreseeable future, and friends and relatives who could lend a hand make themselves scarce because, “Well, you are the one who wanted a big family…”?

If Jesus can be with us always, this would be a good time for Him to show up and help!

The fact of the matter is — He does. Speaking for myself, I can’t always open my eyes to His presence unless I journal. I am not talking about memoir-style writing. In my diaries, I just speak directly and plainly to Jesus. I tell Him exactly how I feel and what I need as if He were with me, because He is. He told us so; therefore there is no doubt. He already knows everything I will ever tell Him, but He also knows that I must vent, feel His presence, realize that I am not alone, and receive the help I desperately need. Of course, this is not a revolutionary way of managing life, but an old way of praying that has sustained me for years.

Here is how and why journaling with Jesus works for me in conquering overwhelm:

  • It forces me to acknowledge that Jesus is right there with me, He was all along, He is not going anywhere, He always has time for me, and He will help me.
  • It allows me to catch my breath and reassess the situation with my best Friend at my side.
  • I can take as long or as little time as I am able. (I have written entries that consist of one word: “Why?” It’s enough to experience the benefits.)
  • I can vent without fear of offending Him. Even Jesus asked His Father, “Why have You forsaken me?”  He understands.
  • Writing well or sounding just right is not a requirement.
  • It’s easy: it only takes a pen or pencil and a notebook.

When I journal my prayers, I can remember the request and recognize the gift. I can go back and see that, when I asked a question, He answered me; when I begged for inspiration, an idea took form; and when I poured out my heart in anguish, I found myself at peace. Whether because of my human limitations or because of the work of the enemy, if I did not have this written record, I would not realize that I am living the answer to prayer.

I don’t have to put up a façade when, in reality, I am overwhelmed — because, no matter how bad I feel, Jesus will be there to exchange my sadness and despair for His calm and sense of real hope. In fact, even Jesus cannot solve my problems until I accept His help. The sooner I am honest about how bad things are (or feel), the sooner He can act.

If this whole idea of journaling your way out of overwhelm seems strange to you, you don’t have much to lose by giving it a try. You might be surprised to find that the more you think of Jesus as a real, loving Person, living with you, in you, and for you, the more you will experience His unfailing help in your everyday life.

The time you spend with Him will be given back to you, multiplied. He will guide you to the best choices, inspire you toward the right solutions, and show you how to reorganize your day so you will accomplish all that must be done. He will let you see that what He did not guide you to do was not necessary — at least not today.  He will become a true Friend, more than any human being will ever be. You will learn to recognize His voice, and even when life becomes overwhelming, it will not separate you from Him.

____________________________

A native of Milan, Italy, Dr. Simona Kragh holds several degrees in political science, journalism, and nursing. She has taught history and political science at the university level. She and her husband currently make their home in Vermont, where they homeschool their five children, ages fifteen to five.

Visit her at Easy Civics (republicbuilder.com), for tutoring and learning support in civics and political science.

____________________________

homeschool character training

 

Character Building for Families

 

inner peace

 

All-Surpassing Peace in a Shaking World,
by Lee Ann Rubsam

Coping with Overwhelm (Part 2)

homeschooling overwhelmToday, let’s look at some common areas where we can get overwhelmed and how to alleviate them.

Measuring ourselves by other people’s standards

Maybe you find yourself thinking, “I just can’t get it together like other homeschool moms do!”

If you’ve gotten your image of what the perfect homeschool family looks and acts like from some homeschool magazine or hotshot Internet site, get rid of that notion. It’s not reality. The families on those mags and websites got themselves gussied up for the occasion. It’s called a photo shoot. If you could be the proverbial fly on the wall the rest of the time at their house, you’d see they have issues, just like the rest of us.

People sometimes talk like they have it all together, tempting the rest of us to beat up on ourselves because we fail at being just like them. We want to do it all, because they seem to be doing it all — with a smile on their faces!

The truth is, God doesn’t expect you to live somebody else’s lifestyle or hold yourself to their standards. He just wants you to follow His plan and seek His wisdom for your unique family.

Frustrating curricula

There is no perfect curriculum. No matter how glowing the reports, if the system everybody else told you to use just isn’t working, it’s OK to change to something different. Some of these are short-lived trends anyway.

Some families thrive using a very relaxed approach: exploring their interests at their own speed, using “living books” (non-textbooks), seizing learning experiences as they arise. Others do much better with highly structured materials — perhaps a full curriculum package that covers all the bases. Some even do well with a correspondence course, complete with deadlines. It all depends on you and your children.

If your homeschool materials are causing you or your children to stress out, it’s probably time for a change. One of the wisest pieces of advice I received in our early years of homeschooling came from Mary Pride, in her first edition of The Big Book of Home Learning. She said to expect to spend some money on resources which turn out to be duds. She felt it was just part of the process, and nothing to feel guilty about.

Housekeeping — too clean or too messy

Either extreme can cause stress. I said in Part 1 of this series that it’s likely you will need to lower your standards a bit in this area, but letting it all go to the dogs isn’t healthy either!

Use part of your homeschooling day or week to teach the children to do housework, and then put it into regular practice. You can count this as Life Skills, and attribute school hours to it. In addition to learning how to keep a tidy home, cooking and sewing can be part of this “class.” Older children should be helping care for the younger children’s needs, as well as bearing some of the overall workload.

Child care, home economics, and shop classes are making a comeback in public schools. Why shouldn’t you include them too? You will just accomplish them more informally than an institutional school. If you need ideas, check out my article, What About Life Skills?  for a list of basic life skills our children should be proficient in before they graduate.

Make summer activities work for you

If your state homeschooling laws require a minimum number of hours, get a head start on your next school year by counting summer hours spent doing educational activities. Include summertime trips, sports, reading, clubs, etc. and note the hours spent on them. This is a practically painless way to accumulate lots of learning and lots of hours credited toward classes.

Those historical spots you visit? Vacations to other parts of the state or country? Those are social studies field trips.

Sports? — physical education.

Reading? — part of your language curriculum. Keep a list of the books read.

Arts and crafts with the parks department? — Yep! That’s part of your art course for the year.

Now, what do you do to decrease your overwhelm? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Previous: Coping with Overwhelm (Part 1)

 

Character Building for Families

 

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All-Surpassing Peace in a Shaking World,
by Lee Ann Rubsam